At the end of the school's semester, I burnt all my textbooks. I can't read so it was the simplest thing I could do.
(Note that since I live in my mother's basement I had her write this story).
I started off with Science -- the study of rainbows and butterflies -- along with Socials, how tequila came to be; English (praised be my mom); and I somehow spared my Math book -- it was 700 much trouble.
I carefully put it in a dusty old drawer in the attic, setting the top on a pillow and then a blanket to keep it warm. One day my dad said 1+1=2, but I took out my textbook to prove him wrong. As I flipped the pages open, I saw my teacher's note on Page 68 reading: "My husband's away for the weekend. Please come rape me."
I said it out loud.
And then, I saw a shiny object fall down from Page 666. At first I thought it was da Wheel of Fortune!! Because I'm stupid, however, I stepped on it. Then I realized I only broke the casing.
Moreover, a yellow butterfly flew out of the drawer. It was the most beautiful tiny organism I had ever seen; I didn't like it. Suddenly it hit a wall. Only it wasn't a wall, but a spider web...the spider came down on it and ate it. So I went to my room to masturbate.
I forgot about the CD until the next day.
I got into the attic while listening to Daft Punk's ''Get Lucky'' on my iPod; sadly I misheard the background vocals, ''We're up all night to get lucky'' for ''We rob a Mexican monkey''.
When I finally laid my hands on the compact disk, however, I soon noticed that all was written on it read: Chatroom 98 in permanent marking...(again my idiot instincts took over and since "chat" means "cat" in French, I thought it was about the 98th clowder -- long story -- or the clowder had 98 cats. But what I saw was much darker, scarier.)
Once I put the disk in my laptop, a mid-sized white chatroom spawned. It reminded me of MSN Messenger, only the two boxes where you'd normally see your -- and your friend's pics were non-existant. Anyways, who the Magnum Double Caramel Fudge even uses MSN Messenger anymore?
No one typed yet so
I randomly entered, "(*&%^&#!^&%#*)))" (it was at that moment that I called my dog; dogs are smarter than humans, which explains why I can't read).
To my surprise, Mu